Warriors Causing Chaos
by SubZeroChimera
Summary: Written in response to "The Sort of Nonsense Up with which the Cetra Shall Not Put" by Ariescelestial. Maybe putting Cloud and Sephiroth in the same room wasn't such a good idea after all... rated for safety. Cracky.


I've never played Dissida, so forgive me if I get a few things wrong. I just read "The Sort of Nonsense Up with which the Cetra Shall Not Put" by Ariescelestial, and I couldn't resist writing this. Dangit funny ideas, why must you force me to write you...? Anyways, I do not own any of the character, yadda yadda, on with the show!

* * *

Flashes of light illuminated the dark castle, smog and lava glowing outside the windows. Cold stones and twisted pillars framed the home of Chaos, god of... well, chaos. The destructive deity glared down at his summons, various warriors called from across space and time to fight for him and his element. There were few women, all but one of which showed their bodies to distract their foes. The men, on the other hand, wore more armour than not. Gold, green, black and other colours in clunky styles that were far more hindering in appearance than in battle. A few others weren't quite as protectively adorned, but they bore large swords or stood in a manner that showed their capabilities just as well. Chaos grinned down at his summoned fighters, each and every one blinking and adjusting to the sudden changes in their surroundings. Thankfully none had been in the shower at the time, but the one boy did look a little waterlogged... no matter.

Chaos unfurled his wings, his booming voice echoing through the halls. "Welcome, warriors, to the halls of chaos! I have summoned you to my side, to fight for me and my cause."

This caught their attention. Each of the fighters stopped blinking, turning to look at him.

"Gather, and look around, for this is where I, Chaos, god of anarchy, reside. These people alongside you," here he stopped and waved at the group, allowing them to view their companions, "are your allies, and together we shall fight to destroy hope and spread disruption and destruction across the land-"

_CRASH!_

Chaos found his halls suddenly missing a rather large chunk from one of its walls.

The group blinked, but one of the men, wearing gold armour, smirked, "Ah, it seems those men are quite dedicated to the cause already."

Chaos grumbled, who was that one again? Ah yes, the Emperor. He couldn't have been more right really. Two of his summoned warriors, one with bizarre blonde hair and the other completely silver, had launched themselves at each other the moment their eyes had met. Chaos couldn't understand why really, the men (Cloud and Sephiroth if he was correct,) had both had a certain amount of darkness in their hearts that made them suitable to be called up by him. Was there some previous rivalry he'd missed?

The rest of the group was watching the fray, and the resulting collateral damage, with some intensity. Golbez, a great brute in black and gold, seemed to be scratching his chin in thought (rather a feat when his chin was nowhere in sight, really). The waterlogged boy, Tidus, was watching the proceedings nervously while a shy girl gazed blankly beside him.

"Well well well, I must say those boys are rather enthusiastic," grinned a catty Kuja, silver tail flicking in amusement.

"_LOVER'S SPAT_!" hollered the clown with a cheshire grin.

That was quite obviously the wrong thing to say, but fortunately for him Kefka's instincts were as sharp as his wit. The clown ducked just in time to avoid the silver man being thrown bodily in his direction. The witch behind him was not so lucky. She gave an unholy shriek as Sephiroth collided with her, the other barely attired woman beside her forced to fling herself to safety as the Masamune cut through the air behind its master.

Black feathers exploded outwards.

Sephiroth, for his part, extracted himself quite promptly from the Greaver's chest paying little heed to her (or where his hands were) as he pushed himself up and launched himself back at Cloud. Ultimecia shrieked again, and the hulking tree-man known as Garland was forced to step back or be decapitated by the wildly swinging sword. Kuja had flung himself to safety in an ungainly heap, bottle-brushed tail in the air and almost having a seizure in itself in how much it was flicking back and forth. Obviously he was NOT amused.

"_How dare you!"_ Ultimecia raged.

"The void swallow your pathetic souls!"

Two more combatants joined the fight, Kuja following soon after.

Everyone stared. Tidus grinned. "Oh dude, he got launched into her boobs! I am _SO_ joining if that's what's gonna happen!" He hopped into the brawl, giggling.

"It does look like quite a lot of fun! Come on, girl, defend me!"

The clown and the shy girl threw themselves into the fray as well. Dust was kicked up beneath the warriors' feet, chips of rock pinging off the floors and armour as oversized weapons were flung about with wild abandon. True to his prediction, Tidus got flung into the bosom of a rather miffed Cloud of Darkness before being promptly flung back, yelping when his head connected with someone else's. The remaining non-combatants seemed nonplussed.

"Well, I supposed if you can't beat them...' muttered Garland.

"Join them!"

No more non-combatants.

Chaos gave a great sigh, watching the proceedings. He wasn't sure whether to be exasperated or amused. It seemed he'd chosen his warriors of chaos a little TOO well...


End file.
